Tag: inspiration

The grittiness of growth.

 

It’s summertime, and the living is…well, a mixed bag of emotions.

Growth is hard. Healing is raw. This month, we chose to feature the blog of a local Asheville clinician – Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW of Heirloom Counseling – to celebrate the “realness” of getting in touch with our true selves. See her recent blog post below about being gentle with yourself as you walk your own path of growth and healing.

Being Gentle with Yourself as You Grow

Hi!
There is something many of my clients realize once we start really digging into relationship and self-work: it doesn’t feel very good.
On one hand, I don’t enjoy seeing people experiencing discomfort or big emotions (I have had to learn to hold space for this and allow it instead of rescuing or fixing). But on the other hand, I have realized that the place where emotions are flowing and discomfort is welcomed and old hurts are received instead of pushed away is where the healing happens. Healing is feeling it all and changing your relationship with your feelings. When the emotions are unearthed, I take that as a good sign. You are a living, breathing, deeply feeling person and I want you to know I respect that—so I let you feel it. We feel it together.
Whether you’re actively shifting your attachment style toward security or it seems like your life as you know it is crumbling all around you or you are growing so quickly that it’s hard to keep up with yourself, please know you are still loved and worthy and whole. None of this work is easy. I’ve come to believe that if you are awake and aware and showing up in any conscious way in this world then you are exposed to the pain of all of it. So many of us are hurting. I know that.
But here’s what I want you to remember. The work you do reverberates out into the collective. Your healing is my healing, and mine is yours. We all deserve to heal. Every one of us. We can help each other do that—by offering support, by being in relationship in a conscious way, and by being accountable for our own stuff. Healing is unlearning just as much as it is acquiring new skills and practicing new responses. We must take inventory of our values and beliefs, gain an understanding of how we came to those beliefs (and whether they still make sense), and move into alignment with who we are now.
Your personal work is incredibly powerful because we are all part of something much bigger than ourselves.
Healing doesn’t happen overnight. And attachment and relationship work? We are in it for the long-game. This work takes practice, time, energy, dedication, and awareness. We must be gentle with ourselves to maintain our commitment. Humans don’t learn well when they are shamed or afraid or experience harshness. How can you create compassion for the parts of you that are learning right now? The fact that you are engaged with the work on a daily basis and healing at your own pace is good enough. Let it be good enough for this moment. Rushing this type of healing doesn’t allow us to dive deep, to fully embrace our experiences, to feel everything we need to feel to move forward.
We all have our own stories and experiences of healing and I believe it’s very important for us to hold space to hear those experiences and learn from one another. I am so thrilled to launch the here to heal podcast on June 11! It’s coming up soon and I’ve done some amazing interviews with incredible folks in my community as well as solo shows where I share more about my own experiences with healing. I’m looking for folks who would be willing to be part of my Podcast Launch Team—people who will listen to a few episodes and then rate and review them on iTunes and get the word out to others who might be interested. If that’s you, will you hit reply to this email and let me know? I will send you instructions and a reminder when the podcast launches! THANK YOU!
I also want to share an opportunity for an in-person healing experience that I am offering on June 22, 2019, with Liz Gunn and Monica Leblanc in the mountains of Western North Carolina. We are hosting an afternoon gathering to support your relationship to yourself utilizing attachment theory, astrology, and the Enneagram (a combination that I have found to be extremely powerful in my own healing work). This experience will provide grounded and practical tools for increasing consciousness and self-awareness with a healthy dose of fun, pleasure, and play. This gathering will be nourishing on many levels and is the perfect way to celebrate the summer solstice! Space is limited so the gathering feels intimate—please register as soon as you can to secure your spot!
Thank you so much, always.
Warmly,
Elizabeth

 

FYI! Elizabeth is launching a podcast THIS MONTH that we are seriously stoked for. Check out the details here: here to heal Podcast

Happy [and sad and frustrated and whatever else you may feel] Growing!

Spring Time Blues

The weather is warming, daylight lasts longer, and the world seems to be blooming…and it expects you to be doing the same.

This month, we feature a very important blog post by Carolina Partners in Mental HealthCare, PLLC that highlights the pressure we may feel to present ourselves to the world as happy, energetic, and carefree this time of year and how it is perfectly alright (and actually makes sense) if “happy-go-lucky” is not everyone’s reality during the Spring season.

Check the post out below!

IT’S SPRING! WHY YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL HAPPY

Spring is finally here. People are wearing shorts, the birds are infectiously happy, flowers are blooming everywhere. In the grocery store today, a man told me, “You look so sad. Be happy! The weather is beautiful.” While there’s always room for gratitude in our days, and nice weather certainly can be something to be grateful for, I’m here to tell you why you don’t have to be happy.

There are admittedly many proven mental health benefits to Springtime. The increase in daylight provides a boost in one’s serotonin levels (serotonin is a crucial ingredient for feelings of happiness). And during the new season, people don’t need to expend as much energy to fight off the drowsiness that occurs when it’s darker outside. Also, people tend to socialize in the Springtime more, which comes with other mood-enhancing benefits; for example, laughing with friends or hugging loved ones, both of which release important endorphins.

With all of this bright light, social bustle, and beautiful, blooming nature, there can be an unspoken expectation to be as happy as possible all the time. But, for a number of reasons, many of us don’t feel happy during Spring … or we don’t feel as happy as other folks seem to think we should. And I would like to detail a number of reasons for why we may not feel happy, despite the beautiful weather and chipper social milieu:

  • The expectation to be happy itself can be stressful, and can, perversely, end up making us feel less happy. It is very alienating to be pressured to feel a certain way when you don’t already feel that way to begin with, and this social pressure is severely heightened in Springtime.

 

  • The warmer weather can make it more difficult to think clearly on a physical level. Ideally, Spring is a time of moderate levels of warmth that help us adjust to the oncoming heatwave of the Summer. But in reality, Spring is often dramatically warmer than we expect or want it to be, and those changes usually happen without warning.

 

  • A third reason is that many of us need to spend our days indoors during these lovely Spring days. Students are busy studying for exams. Office workers continue to spend eight hours a day inside, regardless of the season. That disconnect between desire and reality can be very demoralizing.

 

  • Some people experience a problem with sinuses during this time, which can make simple things like going on a walk in your neighborhood very unenjoyable.

 

  • Perhaps most importantly, it is important to remember that the regular ups and downs of life continue to happen in Spring, despite the shifting climate. For some folks, Spring is the anniversary of a loved one’s passing. Other people are experiencing terrible illness. There are folks who lose their job in Spring, or get into a car accident. The mere existence of warm weather and budding cherry blossoms does not erase the usual tribulations of life.

While there are likewise many reasons to enjoy the season, it’s important that we be aware of our own impulse to assume that everyone else is happy, or that everyone else should be happy, or that we should be happy. Spring is a time of should-ing. We “should” all over each other during this season, a practice that often makes even the enjoyable aspects less enjoyable.

As you move about in the world during this season of opening and renewal, remember to hold yourselves and others in a place of understanding and compassion. If you find yourself feeling sad, angry, frustrated, hopeless, etc., remind yourself that those emotions are a part of life, no matter the season. The same goes with other people whom you interact with. Every season is the right season to treat yourself and others with compassion, and to reach out for the help that you need.

To access other posts from the Carolina Partners in Mental HealthCare, PLLC blog, follow this link: Be Well Blog

Resolutions…or Revolution?

Happy New Year, Everyone!

…And welcome to “resolution” season.  As we turn the page to a new chapter – 2019 – it is likely we will all have some exposure to the concept of changing something (or things) about oneself “for the better”.

Traditionally, resolution setting tends to revolve around our bodies and our behavior.  Commercials for diet and weight loss programs become more pervasive, the local gym puts up a shiny new billboard offering $20 off membership, we are encouraged to pick apart the pieces of ourselves that we find unsatisfactory, and we ride off into the sunset on the new trendy wellness bandwagon.

While there is nothing wrong with desiring change and embracing a collective opportunity to kick-start it all, we invite you to challenge the typical narrative this time of year and consider the idea of a revolution rather than a resolution.  What would it be like to look at goal setting from a place that wasn’t appearance-focused?  What other aspects of life are there to look at when considering working on oneself?  What if the resolution was that you are enough…let’s repeat that…You. Are. Enough. as you are without making a single change whatsoever?

We chose a few of our favorite perspective-shifting articles and blog posts to share with you this month that are centered around self-acceptance, body respect, and revolutionizing what it means to resolve to take better care of ourselves.  Enjoy!

Julie Dillon’s two-part take on why it makes sense to want to lose weight…and how to navigate these feelings from a place of self-respect:

it’s not body love or acceptance that’s first, it’s respect.

weight loss is a seductive fantasy…here’s why.

Ragen Chastain’s (Dances With Fat) notes on sustainable personal goal setting:

Non-Diet New Year’s Resolutions

Eating Disorder Therapy LA’s suggestions for alternatives to typical resolutions:

Don’t Diet! 10 Alternative New Year’s Resolutions

 

 

Don’t Give It All Away

Hello, Everyone!

This month we are breaking up the holiday chatter (but also…Happy Holidays!) to share with you all a candid, quite raw rendition of one’s experience of navigating relationships in recovery and traversing the journey of healing from co-dependency.  We love this timeless reminder that no matter what type of relationships we are fostering at the moment, we must always hold space for ourselves, nurture ourselves, and remain present with ourselves.

This piece was gifted by an Anonymous Recovery Warrior.

To my sister-

There will be someone that promises you the life you’ve always imagined having.  Constant, unwavering assurances of safety, security, and happiness will dance from their lips, forming the most entrancing, tempting ballet.  They will do it all right, and I mean everything.  From flowers, love notes, and elegant dinners to warm embraces and kisses as soft as the clouds.  These are all beautiful things to treasure, but love, don’t give it all away.

There will be someone that snatches your attention so violently and abruptly that they send you spinning into a whirlpool of your own thoughts.  For a while you’ll think you’re drowning in that perfect something.  You’ll immerse yourself in their cool, refreshing pool in an attempt to cleanse yourself, but please promise to stay where your feet can touch the bottom.  The deep end is colder, darker than you’d expect it to be- every time.   Darling, try to keep that beautiful head above the water.  Don’t give it all away.

There will be someone that you love to hate.  They will be your flame, you will be their gasoline.  You will pour your body over them like hot, melted wax just begging for a shape to take.  You will sugar yourself until they deem you the sweetest candy they have ever tasted.  You’ll surrender to the fire.  Passion is part of the game, but sissy, don’t give it all away.

There will be someone that changes your life.  You’ll think, speak, act, and do things differently than ever before.  You’ll set this new you into motion with a force so strong you’ll convince everyone you’ve had a revelation.  Your mind will shift, your attitudes will be altered, your dispositions will transform. Old habits will die, new ones will be born.  Perspective is powerful and changes are good, but look before you leap, baby.  Don’t give it all away.

There will be someone that makes themselves your project.  They will latch on, and you will mother their insecurities.  You’ll stroke their fragile ego.  You will find yourself cleaning up the foul waste of their childlike outbursts, uncontrolled and unpredictable.  You’ll wipe the floor of their mess and your tears of exhaustion, sanitize with affection, and you’ll wait for the next explosion.  You’ll hope that these nightmarish times will pass and that like the flu, it will get worse before it gets better.  My sister, I am here to tell you that there will always be another explosion, always another mess that will keep you on your knees.  Don’t give it all away.

There will be someone you love.  You’ll know it when you know it.  Your head will turn to them, and you’ll meet each other on an even playing field.  You’ll overlook things that are slightly inconvenient to preserve the pleasure of being a pair.  You’ll share yourself with them and they will reciprocate.  You’ll want them feverishly and vehemently.  You’ll experience compromise.  You’ll sacrifice genuinely but my god- don’t ever give it all away.

You see, there will always be someone.  There will always be high highs and low lows but whatever you do, don’t give it all away.  Don’t give all of yourself.  Don’t drain yourself dry.  Don’t burn yourself until the wick disappears.  Not ever.  If you ever take a piece of my advice, please let it be this one.  Leave some of you for you, no matter what.

It’s okay to not get the massage.

Self care. Self care. Self care.

While reserving space and time to care for ourselves in a chaotic, pressurized world is essential, the concept of “self care” has also become idealized and even exploited in recent years. Certain forms of self care (ex. “spa days”, exercise, etc.) have been pedestalized in mainstream media, which narrows the vision of self care considerably and reduces accessibility and inclusiveness for, well…the majority of people.

There are many reasons why people may avoid caring for themselves, and we believe that feeling pressure to create a luxurious experience for oneself every time we engage in self care only adds to the mix. The purpose of this post is to let you know that it is perfectly alright to choose boring, less “shiny” forms of self care when they meet your needs more efficiently and that it is important to pay attention to what those needs actually are in the first place.

“But I have no clue what I need!”

We hear you – totally and completely.

Start here:

Taking a moment to consider how you are feeling can help you choose self care activities that will be most appropriate for bringing you back to a more balanced place. We know, we know, getting in touch with feelings is everyone’s faaavorite activity (haha, not), but doing so can tell us more about what we are truly needing.

Below are a few examples of how to tie it all together!

Example 1:

Feeling/affect: Bored, isolated, lonely

Potential need: Connection

Possible self care activities: Reach out to a friend or support person, engage with recovery-positive social media, try a group movement class, etc.

Example 2:

Feeling/affect:  Overwhelmed, over-extended, “burnt out”

Potential need: Rest

Possible self care activities: Rest (nap, go to bed early, sleep in), massage or spa treatment, cancel plans, etc.

Example 3:

Feeling/affect: Anxious, restless, unsettled

Potential need: Calm, comfort

Possible self care activities: Guided meditation, grounding/breathing technique, nature walk, etc.

For more self-care inspiration, check out the link below about “boring self care” and one of our favorite Instagram profiles: @makedaisychains 

‘Boring Self-Care’ Drawings Celebrate Everyday Mental Health Victories

*Disclaimer* Choose what feels right to you. These suggestions are in no way absolute and are not meant to replace your current self care regimen, only to enhance your mindfulness around it. You don’t have to fit any mold ever, and we want you to choose self care activities that help you feel like your best self, no matter how trendy, luxurious, involved, simple, or boring they are or are not.

 

 

 

 

 

Sharing the Love

This month’s post pays homage to some of our most favorite blogs.  We at Nutritious Thoughts are showing appreciation, sending shout-outs, and sharing the LOVE with some stellar platforms that are recovery-positive and rooted in joyful living.

Favorite #1: Dances With Fat

Writer Ragen Chastain (she also identifies as many other incredible things – seriously check her out!) is REAL. We love this blog for the relatable content, post consistency (new reads monthly – yay!), and conversational spark in her writing.

Some common themes in this blog include: Health At Every Size (HAES), weight neutrality, size diversity, ditching diet culture, and lots of other awesomeness!

Click here to visit Dances With Fat

Favorite #2: Julie Duffy Dillon 

We love her blog, yes, but really just everything about this wonderful human is worth getting to know.  Julie is a nutrition therapist and eating disorder specialist that is passionate about helping others find peace with food, movement, and their bodies.  

Some common themes in this blog include: Eating Disorder & disordered eating recovery, PCOS, body image, mindful and intuitive eating, and lots of other awesomeness!

Click here to visit Julie’s blog

Favorite #3: Iris Cullinan

Perspective. That’s what we love about this blog. Iris is a Intuitive Career and Business Coach in Asheville, NC (Hey, neighbor!) and is a recovery advocate. Her vision is extraordinary, and her writing embodies elements of the recovery experience like no other.  

Some common themes in this blog include: self-care, motivation, mindfulness, life changes and transformation, and lots of other awesomeness! 

Click here to visit Iris’s blog

Happy reading, everyone!

 

 

 

 

Dear Me

I wrote this letter to myself at a painfully pivotal point in my life.  I still read it regularly and hope it provides a sense of safety, hope, and unity to others that may need it.

-Lindsey M. Yemc, MS, RD, LDN

This is a letter to yourself when things seem impossible.  Read this when success is blooming everywhere around you, and you feel as though you’re the seed that never germinated. Read this when you’re waiting for someone to say “it’s your turn”.

Dear me,

Let your tears fall, and with them, every misconceived notion that you’re not enough.  Breathe.  Open up your heart to every uncertainty in your life, every unknown, every question.  Feel uncomfortable.  The answer right now is that you just don’t know.  Accept yourself in this state.  As inglorious as it is, it is real, and being real in a terribly fake world is an achievement unfamiliar to most.

Sit here for a moment.  Do not write yourself off.  Settle in.  Disrobe your pride.  You are allowed to feel that life is sometimes unfair and unnecessarily cruel, because it absolutely is.  Understand that you are human; perhaps the most difficult thing to be in this universe.

Credit yourself.  You alone have accomplished many feats.  You have fought giants and monsters.  You feel empty with dreamy optimism, but warrior, you are full of everything you need to fight.  Freshen up your war paint, another battle is just around the corner.  You are essential personnel – rain or shine, you must trust yourself to show up.

Embrace your complexity.  You are a goddess, a serpent of solidity.  Flexible, yet unshakable. You are elemental.  The wind in your hair ignites a flame that can burn every one of your insecurities to the ground.  Know your power.

Once you’ve rediscovered the dynamic potential of your life, your incredible aptitude to design and actualize exquisite beauty, propel yourself in the dance of determination.

Love always,

Me

Locations

31 College Place, Suite 200
Asheville, NC 28801

1612 Asheville Hwy, Suite 1 & 3
Hendersonville, NC 28791

140 Appalachian Street, Suites EE & FF
Boone, NC 28607

 

Contact Us

Phone: (828) 333-0096
Fax: (828) 505-8772
Email: info@nutritious-thoughts.com

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Who We Are

We provide support around Eating Concerns, Embodiment, Nutrition for Substance Use Recovery, Nutrition for Mental Health, Nutrition for Competitive & Recreational Athletes, Chronic Health Concerns, and Gestational, & Hormonal & Reproductive Nutrition.